Watching You
by rockgodsdoitbetter
Summary: Harry and Draco are together while fighting against eachother in the war. This was for the Humpday101 challenge over at LJ. The prompt was It wasn't you


**Pairing:** Harry/Draco  
**Rating:** PG-13 I guess.  
**Warnings:** Un-betaed. I'm still looking for a beta if anyone knows anyone who might be interested. Angst. Breif HBP spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters, universe, spells, anything at all. Please don't sue.

**Watching You**

Harry tried not to watch Draco during the battles. He tried to ignore him when he flinched with pain. These efforts were rarely successful. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw everything Draco did. With every curse he sent, he saw his cold face block out all emotion. Harry hated himself for being so aware of Draco's presence. Watching Draco hurt him. Harry tried to justify his actions by telling himself that he was being careful; keeping an eye on the enemy. These justifications become less reliable when he would avoid ever fighting Draco directly. They completely disappeared when he would see Draco after the battles were over. They were utterly gone when Draco would run his hands through Harry's hair, when they would kiss roughly, and when Draco's hands slipped down his pants.

"Draco, what are we doing? What is this?" Harry asks late one night.

"Well, Potter, I've heard of these things called relationships. Where people are together, and have sex. Do you think that could be it?" Draco mocks.

Harry half laughs. "Git… No. Would you really call this a relationship?"

Draco sat up from the couch and buttoned his shirt. "No, I suppose not."

"Then what is it—why—do we do this?"

Draco stood. "Why? Fuck, Harry. I lo—I don't know. Maybe, it just makes things simpler. For a while."

"Simpler? I don't know about you, but this makes things twenty times more confusing for me." Harry stood up behind Draco.

"You need to broaden your vocabulary. Simpler doesn't always mean understandable. I guess it's just an escape." Draco tossed up his hands in a shrug.

"It's just so complicated." Harry shook his head, about to go on.

"Are you trying to have a conversation about _us_ here? Are you going to ask _where is this relationship going _next?"

"No… sorry. I think I have the right to know what the hell is going on here. This has been pretty fucking hard for me."

"And you think it's been easy for me? Do you think it's easy for me watching you go off and be the hero for the very people I'm fighting against? Do you think it's easy for me after seven years of hatred just throwing it away and realizing I was wrong?"

Harry opens his mouth in retort and then stops; he face softens. "It doesn't have to be like this you know. You could… fight with me. Be part of our army. We could give you protection. We…"

Draco sighs loudly, and rolls his eyes. You don't understand, it do you? I'm not your next rescue mission. I'm not a lost soul. I believe in what I'm fighting for. The people you're killing, they're basically the family I have left. I've given so much for this cause. The Dark Lord is right. You're the one who's confused. I know he is right."

"Is this really what you believe? Because, Draco, yesterday I saw you use an unforgivable on Molly Weasley. She is my family Draco. You know what I did? Nothing. I turned away, because I didn't want to face the fact that we are fighting against each other. So, please Draco. Tell me you don't mean it." Harry turned to Draco who stayed with his back to him and stared ahead. Harry waited. Draco said nothing.

"Do you know how many times I have watched you hurt the people I love?" Harry continued, "Do you know how long I've felt guilty for _not_ feeling guilty when I did nothing to stop you?" Harry took two hesitant steps closer to the other boy.

"_The people you love_," Draco hissed shaking his head. "I don't know about you, Potter, but I don't regret a single thing I've done in this war."

Tears have begun to form in Harry's eyes. "You know, watching you, I kept telling myself it wasn't you. Not really. Not who you really are. I can't believe I—that I, for so long, convinced myself that this was okay… That _you_ were okay." Harry sighed and turned away.

"Well, I'm glad you realized the truth now, now Potter, because I'm not a good person. Did you know that in order to get back to this _force of evil_ I told them Snape was the spy? I turned in the man who was saving my life. I traded his life for mine."

"Snape—I… I'm sorry."

"I don't want pity. It—It was my choice."

"God. I can't take this anymore. I don't need this from you."

"Fine. Go. Spend time with the people who really appreciate you. Go on. _Hero. _Have fun saving the world" Draco swallowed hard.

"You know what, I will. I'm not going to come back." He hit his eye and wiped the tears out. "Now I remember why I hated you so much," He gulps.

"Fine."

Harry turned and started walking to the door. He still waited for Draco to stop him. He wanted to take everything back.

"Potter!" Draco stomped to Harry. He walked him against the wall until their faces were inches apart. Their faces collided. It was a rough kiss; they both poured their anger into it. It was followed immediately by a short sweet kiss that was so short neither boy acknowledged its presence. "I hate you too," Draco growled and pushed Harry out the door.

"I HATE YOU," He yells at the slammed door, as tears begin to slide down his face. "_I hate you_. Oh God I ha—love you."

The next battle Harry was even more determined not to watch Draco. Yet, he stared at him the whole time.

It was a quick moment. The battle was getting heated. Harry barely saw it happen. But he saw Draco fall. He saw Draco fall forever. Over and over again, he saw Draco fall. Crabbe knelt down, screamed, and started tossing curses.

Harry froze. "No," he whispered. "No," he yelled.

"Harry, no." Hermione touched his shoulder and turned to look where he stared. Though she only noticed Remus' body, which lay motionless next to Draco's. She held him back and tried to turn him around to where Voldemort emerged. She didn't hear his pain filled words.

"No, no. Wait. I never, never told you why I was so mad. It was because… you made it so hard, so fucking hard, yet too easy. To love you. I-I love you. You bloody git. So, come back. I love you."

Please review. Sorry there was no warning for character death. I debated it and decided not to put it in. I was experimenting with a new style here so it may seem a little dry I can't tell.


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